Ep. 124: Tyler Gresham on when you don’t know what to say.
Hey friends, it’s Raleigh Sadler. In this episode of MercyCast, I sit down with my good friend Tyler Gresham, Administrative pastor to students at Fairhaven Baptist in Demopolis, Al, to talk about something we all encounter but often don’t know how to handle—suffering, especially in the face of unimaginable loss. Tyler opens up about the heartbreaking journey of losing his daughter, Tessa, to a terminal birth defect, and what it looked like to walk through that adversity with honesty, trust, and a deep longing for healing.
Together, we unpack how compassion—as well-intentioned as it is—can sometimes feel like salt in a wound when we’re not careful with our words. We talk about how simply listening—really listening—can communicate more love than any advice ever could.
We also explore the quiet, sacred space of prayer, the long road to acceptance, and the deep value of community when everything falls apart. Tyler reminds us that in the worst pain, we don’t need answers—we need people willing to be present. That presence, that shared space in our suffering, can begin to pave the way toward healing.
Whether you're walking through grief, sitting with someone in pain, or wrestling with how to show up well for others, this conversation is for you. We’re not here to tie things up with a bow, but to ask better questions and lean into the mystery of shared sorrow.
Thanks for being here. Let's learn to suffer with instead of suffering alone.
Highlights and takeaways from the conversation:
Compassion can be miscommunicated through even the kindest words.
Loss invites us into deep acceptance and a need for community support.
Suffering is a universal experience that calls for honest reflection and connection.
Listening and presence often matter more than having the right thing to say.
It’s okay to not have the answers; what matters is showing up with empathy.
Prayer, even in doubt, can be a lifeline to meaning and healing.
Asking “How can I best support you?” is more powerful than we think.
We grow closer when we vulnerably share our stories of pain and hope.
When you suffer, people may not know what to say. That’s okay. Suffering often exposes reality. But this podcast is about facing reality, facing pain, and growing through it.
Thanks for listening, and as always, let’s keep mercy at the center.
— Raleigh
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Listen to the full episode:
For more conversations like this one, check out my book, Vulnerable: Rethinking Human Trafficking.