Ep. 163: Wayne Jacobsen on love beyond performance.
There are moments in life that expose what we really believe. A cancer diagnosis. A fractured relationship. A loss we never saw coming.
In this conversation with Wayne Jacobsen, we talk about what happens when faith moves beyond performance and becomes a lived experience of God's love. Wayne shares deeply personal stories—from surviving a cancer diagnosis to navigating one of the most painful seasons of his 51-year marriage—and reveals how God's presence met him in places where easy answers could not.
For decades, Wayne has invited people to move beyond religious striving and into a relationship rooted in love. His newest book, Just Love, explores a powerful truth: righteousness isn't about earning God's approval. It's about learning to receive His love and allowing that love to transform how we see and treat others.
This conversation challenged me personally. We discussed the difference between living for love and living from love, how God often takes the initiative long before we recognize it, and why genuine compassion grows out of being deeply loved ourselves.
In this episode, we discuss:
Why do so many of us spend years trying to earn a love God has already given?
The difference between knowing about God's love and actually living loved.
How performance-based faith keeps us trapped in fear and control.
Why God's presence is often discovered in pain rather than certainty.
What Wayne learned through a devastating crisis in his marriage.
How unresolved trauma can shape our relationships and understanding of ourselves.
Why love is not an obligation but the natural overflow of a heart experiencing God's affection.
The connection between justice, compassion, and loving the person right in front of us.
How to stop trying to fix people and start being present with them.
What it means to trust God when circumstances make no sense.
Key Takeaways
You Don't Have to Earn What God Has Already Given
Wayne spent decades trying to earn God's approval before realizing he was already loved. Everything changed when he stopped waking up trying to be loved by God and started waking up as God's beloved.
God Often Initiates Before We Notice
Many of us think we're searching for God, but Wayne reminds us that God is often the One pursuing us. The Father draws us long before we recognize His presence.
Love Changes How We Walk Through Suffering
When Wayne's wife unexpectedly left after 46 years of marriage, everything in him could have reacted with fear, anger, and a sense of control. Instead, years of learning to trust God's love allowed him to remain present, patient, and compassionate through one of the hardest seasons of his life.
Justice Flows From Love
Rather than seeing justice as another religious obligation, Wayne argues that God's love naturally produces a life marked by compassion, mercy, and care for others. Love fulfills justice because love fulfills us.
The Next Person Matters
We often think about changing the world while overlooking the person directly in front of us. Wayne reminds us that the Kingdom of God is often expressed through simple acts of presence, curiosity, compassion, and care.
Memorable Quote
"I spent the first 42 years of my life trying to earn the love of God that I already had and didn't know it." — Wayne Jacobsen
Resources Mentioned
Final Thoughts
One thing Wayne said continues to stay with me: God's goal isn't only bring us into heaven someday. His desire is to free us from the constant need to prove ourselves so we can live in the freedom of His love today.
When we stop striving to earn God's affection, we're finally free to love the people around us—not because we have to, but because we've already received more love than we could ever exhaust.
That's where compassion begins. That's where mercy becomes real. And that's where lives begin to change.
Listen to the full episode:
For more conversations like this one, check out my book, Vulnerable: Rethinking Human Trafficking.